Tag Archives: Recreation

Unfamiliar Territory

It feels like my life has no meaning ever since I got a little busier with the new job. Don’t get me wrong, I love the job (been in the same field since ’04), colleagues and opportunities it has given me. But I was just realizing the other day that I don’t have direction in my life right now. Maybe, it’s because I’ve not met as many people as I’ve had hoped when I move down to AZ few years back.

Recently, I joined a meetup group with AZ professionals in 20s and 30s. Basically, a hang out of professionals with their busy lives, yet be able to squeeze in few hours here and there for happy hour, hiking, movies etc etc. I plan on attending their new Members Meet & Greet next Saturday. Really, hoping I can find people to hang and connect with besides the people I already know. I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t mind if I live alone and be lazy but past few months, I can sense I need a direction, a change of what I’ve already known.

Stay tuned for new entry next Sunday (July 29)


If you never had to work again..

This topic conversation comes up over and over again for me. I find myself talking about work, not having enough holidays, and weekends being way too short. I mean, come on – 5 days of work vs 2 days of fun – that’s a messed up ratio right there. Quite often I wish that I had no responsibilities, and didn’t have to work at all. I’d love to be independently wealthy. I wish I could just wake up in the morning and not have to be anywhere or do anything specific. Be free to do whatever I want with my time – too have time to throw away without regret. That would be glorious!

Inevitably however, someone always says something among the lines of: “but if you didn’t have to work, you would get bored of just sitting around all day”.

My reply to this is: Are you really so empty inside that you need someone else to tell you what to do? Are you really so psychologically fragile that you would come apart without a predetermined schedule? Have you no self control, drive or ambition?

People who say things like that seriously make me sick. Really? Having all the time in the world, and nothing to do you would actually choose to “sit around”? I’m sorry, but who the fuck sits around all day, anyway?

To me, such a scenario means limitless freedom to do things I always wanted to do. It would be the the ability to pursue my dreams without having to worry about money, appointments and etc.

Just think about it. You could travel, you could go back to school, you could devote your time to research, you could volunteer, you could write, you could paint create, you could teach. You could open your own little company, consulting firm, restaurant or whatever you wanted. You could buy a farm. You could make a movie. You could learn how to play music. You would be a master of your own destiny, no longer subject to the harsh dictates of need and opportunity.

Does this really sound that bad? It seems like a fairly decent deal to me. I do realize that a lot of people genuinely enjoy their work and find self fulfillment in it. I have never heard any of those people utter that line though. They usually just admit they like their work or say they could not imagine doing anything else. And that’s ok.

What baffles me are people who really hate their current job, hated their previous job and will likely hate the future one, but still think they would be lost without one. Do people really need structured work environment to keep them busy? Do they really fall apart without it? I don’t get it.

I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time I “sat around” and was bored when left alone to my own devices. When I’m not hanging out, or spending time with my family I’m usually at my desk being busy maintaining this blog, coding something, researching, learning and etc. I always have a stack of books to read, and a long, long list of topics to be researched and projects to be finished and/or started. My main problem is that there are not enough hours in the day to do all the things that I would like to do.

Do other people really have nothing going on for them? Have they no hobbies, obsessions or interests? Do they feel no need to learn or grow as a person. Do they have no creative drive of any sort?

Who just “sits around” all day?

No Heart Beat

I always had an issue with disappointing people and that made conversations which will lead to such moments, difficult. I used to get sweaty palms, nervous voice while going through it, I would rehearse my lines over and over again. And after the whole ordeal, I will be left with this awful sense of guilt and over all blahh feeling.

Well, yesterday I had one such conversation and I didn’t feel a thing. No remorse, no hesitation. I was very polite though, and the fact that my conversation was a total surprise for the person listening kinda helped. I guess he was in a shock to have responded unkindly. I was thinking, it will hit me the next day but so far so good.

Maybe, I am getting old or more mature. Whatever the reason, I like my new skill.


So I ran into my friend’s girlfriend today after a year or so. It wasn’t planned. I just met her while grocery shopping. She saw me, screamed, hugged and asked about my friend. The way she greeted me, I got the feeling she is not up-to date with the latest news on our common friend. Well, the story goes….my friend got married last year to a Pakistani girl in Pakistan. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t come back to the States and that’s what happened. Last month his wife gave birth to an adorable girl and now his chances of coming back are really slim. I didn’t know what to tell the girl. I didn’t want to break the news nor I wanted to hide it – so I just ran away and told her that I’m getting late but before I could run, she took my phone number and I bet she will call me to find out what’s going on.

I emailed my dickhead friend and told him about who I met today. He replied by saying just tell her you don’t know the details. God! I hate it when people ask me to lie on their behalf. He has left the girl hanging and put me in an odd spot.The girl knew what kinda player she was dealing with – she should have known better..oh well.

What really defines you…

I would hate to think that the car I drive defines what people think of me but I know its true for men and women alike. When I bought my Honda new, I would park it way out-of-the-way; most friends at the time thought it’s because I didn’t want it scratched but actually I just didn’t wanna be seen driving it. I feel far more comfortable driving my old rusty Volvo. It could have been an old rusty Ford for that matter, as long as its reliable. And so I didn’t sweat too much when the hail storm left little dimples all over the Honda. Anyway, VW, that I don’ t own, is not the lowest ego emission car, I know a few owners and their egos as bigger than their heads. But new commercial does shed some light on how societies all around the world view car ownership. We are or at least thought of as what we drive.

Ins and Offs

To be a little more clear, there is a difference between what you want in life and what you want of life. In my observation people can’t make out this difference.

For example, what I want in tea and what I want of tea are two different things. I like honey & milk in my tea but I want a feeling of warmth, almost a buzz, of my tea. Does this mean what I want in my tea dictates what I want of my tea? Not necessarily. Two people can have two different things in their tea but want the same thing of of it – something warm.

I think it is important to know what we want of life and let it dictate what we want in our life, rather than the other way around.