It’s not others, it’s ME

There was a time when I believed that everything wrong with me is someone else’s fault. Parents, family, teachers, friends and society as a whole, yes, anyone but me. Those were the days of adolescence where the world revolved around me. Now, when I look back and re-evaluate myself, I realize that almost all of the decisions were mine and I take full responsibility of them. Of course my environment had a great deal of influence over me but at the end of the day it was me who chose one thing over another.

This realization is another step towards being true to yourself, it’s not only a humbling experience, it is also the only way to self correction. Part of this transition is age, not my own but as my parents grow older and other elders are not there to watch over me, I feel this deep sense of responsibility about doing things right, not for the fear of anything but because it is the right thing to do. Eating right, speaking right, working right and studying hard. I can slack of in any one of those and I don’t think anyone would care but I know I will feel this guilt. Honestly, it’s a very hollow and painful feeling that makes me miss the carefree days of the past, but sadly the truths of life once found are irreversible, just like the hands of time

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